Anxiety

Anxiety sucks. No reasoning about it, no silver lining, it just sucks. It’s also less than fun trying to make like everything is peachy keen when inside you are imploding and exploding at the same time. Today mine decided to manifest during rush hour traffic halfway across town. Now mind you, my father is an excellent and experienced driver; it’s just my brain wasn’t a big fan of the number of cars and the need to pull Andretti moves in order to assure you’re in the right lane. To ground myself I slipped on a pair of oversized reflective aviator glasses that were perched on the dashboard and used the Panera card in my coat pocket as a makeshift totem until the chaos dissipated. I feel kinda bummed because I’m usually fine on highways and then today happened, and I’m a lil disappointed because I thought I was “getting better”. On a positive, I didn’t completely freak out, I was able to push through with a lot of prayer and the techniques I’ve learned for just such fantastic occasions. The day before that moment had been wonderfully pleasant, and the rest of evening proceeded without incident...save for me crying from a performance on The Voice and then more tears shed later over some ladies I saw on Facebook doing renditions of songs from The Lion King musical. Yeah.  Perhaps I’m suffering some small emotional aftershocks. Here’s to hoping tomorrow is chill.