Sundaze.

I laid my clothes out last night, fully intent on conquering the next morning with organization and gusto (as I had the previous days), my my body this morning said “nay no my damie” and soundly sequestered me to bed. I guess I am tired. I don’t really have time to be tired though, there’s so much to be done. I have articles that need to be started, action plans that need construction, clothes that need washing and canvases that need finishing. I also have a wrist bound task master aka Fitbit that demands I keep walking at the top of each hour. I am both deeply thankful and deeply annoyed, yet like clockwork I’m up, marching back and forth through the living room until I receive my electronic “good job!”. No lie, the extra activity does help my mental, as increased activity helps boost the happy bubbles (serotonin) in my melancholy mind.

This week I’ve also been working on peaceableness in general, trying to let the people in my life know I care about them. This has led to some unexpected emotions...when you see someone you love go through pain and suffering, it changes you, fundamentally, especially when you are powerless to assist them. I went this week with some friends to see my ailing great aunt, I wasn’t really prepared to see her. This sassy, vivacious woman who makes the best fried chicken this side of the Mason-Dixon Line looked and sounded but a shade of herself. I managed a warm smile and grabbed her hand, but by the time the doctors came in a few minutes later, memories burst forth uninvited of loved ones in similar circumstances. One of the friends with me, a savvy sister from my congregation, saw me in trouble and suggested we get a little air. She decided I needed to laugh so she told me funny stories from back in the day. Sometimes I wish I was strong like I was before...but no sense dwelling in the past. I can learn to be strong in other ways...

I think I like hanging out with people in smaller doses, not in huge groups but more like a few folks. I really want to start an urban chess club, where a few of us can get together semi-regularly, play some chess or other games that make you think, discuss science (or at least sci-fi), and help one another out of creative blocks. Awesome nerds who quote Star Wars, play Legos and would be totally down to check out a planetarium. Band geeks, skaters and coffee snobs alike lol.  I want us to be official too like with blazers with patches on them, real high class stuff. I’ll get to working on it sometime soon. Ciao for now.