Hey Big Girl.
"You have such a pretty face for a plus girl."
I can't tell you how many times I've heard that phrase in some form during my life, or even during the past couple of weeks. The other day while doing some shopping in Wally World, an urban and uncouth twenty-something gentleman decided to heckle me while walking with his family, saying things like "look at that BIG GIRL, the one with the jacket on...go head BIG GIRL" and so forth. Doing my best to ignore the ignoramus, I turned down the next isle only to hear, "OH...dang, she's a pretty big girl." His voice trailed off after his sister finally chastised him...
Honestly, in social situations, I'm already self-conscience about my height and size, I've always been the larger person among my circles of friends. I try to camouflage my lumps and wear makeup (aka war paint) to at least feel like I look somewhat presentable. Frumpy isn't a word that people should be able to throw at me, even though I'm thicker than cold grits. Some that consider themselves noble minded, feel obliged to acknowledge my "efforts" with digs thinly disguised as compliments, such as seen above. To protect myself, I often try to beat them to the punch, describing myself as "fluffy" or perfecting my skills as a wing-woman; so instead of being someone to joke about, I am a valued member of the tribe.
But it's not just my body that is plus-sized, it's my brain and my heart too (think Mrs. Which from A Wrinkle in Time). My thoughts and ideas are juicy and voluptuous, and my care for those I love is way larger than life. Sometimes I feel like I have to pair that down too, 'cause everybody's not ready for existential discussions and scientific debates. Heck, some people aren't even ready for an unconditional and drama-free love; how I love is deemed "intimidating". Being told in a sense to corset your spirit can be downright suffocating.
I force myself to contrast those experiences though with the other end of the spectrum. There have been warm smiles and genuine compliments over the years, and those are definitely appreciated. Being told things like "You humble me.", "I love the way your mind works.", or even a "What's up beautiful?" are words worth their weight in gold. Not that you live your life off of compliments, but it does feel good to have a comeback to all those negative words, that come from outside...and within.
These days, you have dynamic and stunning women like Ashley Graham, Lizzo, Liris Crosse and others who are unabashedly fabulous and curvy. You see them on red carpets in haute couture, rocking runways and performing; and you also see them working out at the gym (yes, there is a thing as thick fit). They have thousands of social media followers and are lauded for the glamazons they are. I wonder are those images having any effect on people, like maybe helping them see there are other forms of beauty. I hope one day, I can change my self perception, see myself in a similar light; healthy, engaging, intelligent, enchanting and deliciously thicker than a Snicker.
I can't tell you how many times I've heard that phrase in some form during my life, or even during the past couple of weeks. The other day while doing some shopping in Wally World, an urban and uncouth twenty-something gentleman decided to heckle me while walking with his family, saying things like "look at that BIG GIRL, the one with the jacket on...go head BIG GIRL" and so forth. Doing my best to ignore the ignoramus, I turned down the next isle only to hear, "OH...dang, she's a pretty big girl." His voice trailed off after his sister finally chastised him...
Honestly, in social situations, I'm already self-conscience about my height and size, I've always been the larger person among my circles of friends. I try to camouflage my lumps and wear makeup (aka war paint) to at least feel like I look somewhat presentable. Frumpy isn't a word that people should be able to throw at me, even though I'm thicker than cold grits. Some that consider themselves noble minded, feel obliged to acknowledge my "efforts" with digs thinly disguised as compliments, such as seen above. To protect myself, I often try to beat them to the punch, describing myself as "fluffy" or perfecting my skills as a wing-woman; so instead of being someone to joke about, I am a valued member of the tribe.
But it's not just my body that is plus-sized, it's my brain and my heart too (think Mrs. Which from A Wrinkle in Time). My thoughts and ideas are juicy and voluptuous, and my care for those I love is way larger than life. Sometimes I feel like I have to pair that down too, 'cause everybody's not ready for existential discussions and scientific debates. Heck, some people aren't even ready for an unconditional and drama-free love; how I love is deemed "intimidating". Being told in a sense to corset your spirit can be downright suffocating.
I force myself to contrast those experiences though with the other end of the spectrum. There have been warm smiles and genuine compliments over the years, and those are definitely appreciated. Being told things like "You humble me.", "I love the way your mind works.", or even a "What's up beautiful?" are words worth their weight in gold. Not that you live your life off of compliments, but it does feel good to have a comeback to all those negative words, that come from outside...and within.
These days, you have dynamic and stunning women like Ashley Graham, Lizzo, Liris Crosse and others who are unabashedly fabulous and curvy. You see them on red carpets in haute couture, rocking runways and performing; and you also see them working out at the gym (yes, there is a thing as thick fit). They have thousands of social media followers and are lauded for the glamazons they are. I wonder are those images having any effect on people, like maybe helping them see there are other forms of beauty. I hope one day, I can change my self perception, see myself in a similar light; healthy, engaging, intelligent, enchanting and deliciously thicker than a Snicker.
Comments
Post a Comment