Introvert 101

The other day, I offered a sure fire escape plan to a good friend who was hesitant to attend an event they were invited to.  Unsure of the guest list and willing to avoid possible drama, they listened in earnest for a bit before asking me, “So is that what you do to get out of stuff ?” I, quite proud of myself mind you, cheerfully replied “Well yeah, I’m an introvert, if I get peopled out, I’m gonna try and find an exit.”  After a few understanding laughs, they replied “That’s cool, but I just don’t think like that.”, and I had to honestly agree. Some statistics suggest that half the world are extroverts and half introverts, but from personal observation, I doubt they always understand each other.  So, as self appointed introvert ambassador, I would like to provide some helpful insights to know your introvert better. I myself am an INFP according to the MTBI test, so I can kinda speak on it.  Check it:

1. It’s not that I’m antisocial...I just really don’t want to kick it with everyone and they cousin, that’s all. I don’t get energized like you (extroverts) do when there’s a giant group of everybody, I tend to get drained trying to accommodate so many super fun personalities. On a personal note, that’s why at most social functions, I either try to see if I can help the host or I’ll find my way to the dance floor. In those realms, I’m more in control of who I interact with and how much. Truthfully, I much rather hang out with a smaller group of folks, doing something somewhere incredible.

2. Small talk...isn’t really my jam, just being honest. It’s not that I wanna talk about the stock market and global warming all the time, but I really don’t want to spend large chunks of a conversation gossiping about other people, rehashing what happened on a reality show, or watching a video of somebody falling over and over again. While appreciate personal decorum, I’m not the girl that’s gonna be obsessed with that bag or outfit you copied from celebrity X either. I want to know what inspires you, what you’re goals are, what music are you listening to and why. I want to hear stories about your childhood dog and your experiences overseas; your passions for life. But you just came to turn up and get faded...yeah okay.

3. I process things internally, so I’m probably not going to tell you what I’m thinking right off...so I really appreciate your patience with me. Rather than saying the first thing that comes to my mind, I tend to think about it first, pass it through a couple of filters and then speak. Because of this, I’m pretty observant, I don’t really miss much. Some introverts will listen and watch people in order to gain insight, others will use a more intuitive approach to “read” people. This allows an in depth understanding of things others might not notice, so it’s helpful to have at least one somewhat quiet friend.

4. Sometimes I go off grid...but it doesn’t mean I don’t like you, I really just need to recharge. I need some time to chill and be quiet, mentally rest and process all the input I’ve been receiving. I’m not down, I’m not shutting myself off from everyone; but much like your favorite electronic device I need to plug in to a power source so I can be ready for the next task. So for me personally, that means listening to some music, doing a little reading or writing, painting or anything creative really. Some days, that means putting on my comfy clothes and watching tv. Just getting my mind right in general.

5. Just because I’m introverted, doesn’t mean I’m shy per se. I’m not one to cower when talking to strangers, and I always appreciate when people ask my opinion on something. In fact, once I get to know you and start to feel comfortable around you, I can be quite sociable, loquacious even, honest! I love hanging out with people, especially kind folks who allow me to just be and don’t make me feel like a weirdo for having a different point of view.

I hope this helps in understanding that introvert you know. True, this is just one person’s vantage point, but perhaps it might help to see a bit clearer. Ciao.

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